She’s right, as weddings get more original, and they are held in different destinations with added technology like online RSVP’s it is incredibly tricky, for brides and planners alike to follow the old rules of Etiquette.
As more couples plan destination weddings, new problems such as travel and sleeping arrangements, add a unique dynamic to the planning of an event. While the etiquette of some traditions will always remain the same, others like the ones below require a little updating.
We think that in the case of a destination wedding it is important to have a wedding website. You can update the site with pertinent information and details as you get them. If there are additional activities you want your Guests to participate in, there is a place to talk about it!
What should the couple pay for? And what do the family’s pay for? This is a question I see with EVERY wedding, destination or held in your hometown, old or young couple. Everyone wants to know what they are responsible for. Old Etiquette remains the same with this one. Typically the Brides family covers the cost of the wedding, although these days the burden is often split between the couple and the bride’s parents. T
The Couple should cover the expense of housing out of town attendants if they are having a hometown wedding. If they are having a destination wedding they should cover the cost of the hotel rooms for all of the attendants.
The Grooms family should pay for the rehearsal dinner, which should include, not only the close family of the bride and groom and the attendants, but also all Guests that have traveled from out of town, if it is a hometown wedding. If the Host is not able to afford to include all of the out of town Guests for dinner, a solution is to host a cocktail hour, after the meal to which you should invite them.
If you are planning a destination wedding you are not required to pay for the activities that you plan at the destination, although some couples do choose to do so.
The attendants should pay for their own attire, including shoes. Typically the accessories that attendants will wear in the wedding are gifts from the couple.
It is important to remember as a couple, if you are planning a destination wedding, there is a significant expense for your attendants, They need to cover the regular expenses such as gifts and clothes, but they also have to cover their travel expenses to get to the destination, as well as meals and activities while they are there. When planning it is a good idea to remember how your decisions will affect the people closet to you, and adjust accordingly.
Can I e-mail my wedding invitation and get an online RSVP? While e-mail and online invitations have become the common trend for parties and impromptu social gathering, part of a wedding is the pomp and circumstance that goes along with it. If your wedding is going to be a formal affair, then traditional formal wedding invitations should be sent out, and a traditional response card should be sent back. You can however include an online RSVP page on your website that will allow guests to indicate they are coming and even converse and make plans with others, this is especially handy when you are planning a destination wedding and people are looking to make hotel and travel arrangements together.
If you are planning a wedding you might consider some of these other wedding etiquette resources, Something New: Wedding Etiquette by Elise Mac Adam or Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, Fifth Edition, by Peggy Post.
What are your etiquette Questions? Are you planning a wedding or social event and want to know if it ok to do something “these days”, Leave us a comment and one of our planners will get back to you with an answer to your question!